Friday, January 20, 2006

Hate

2006. Come now, there's still plenty to hate less than a month into the new year. Let's see what is bothering me lately.

Commander In Chief. Guess what? I hate it! Couldn't even watch 5 minutes of it. Total snoozefest. Apparently, officials in the Geena Davis Administration have embraced a policy of "phoning it in". Could the characters be more bland and cliched? Commander In Chief, I demand thee impeached!

The Machinist. Simply awful. A highly derivative mash-up of previous Christian Bale performances masqueradingas a fresh idea for a movie. Oh, I get it. His guilty conscience is causing him to waste away both physically and emotionally. Big fucking deal. Get over it. I liked this movie the first time when it was called American Psycho.

Land Of The Dead. I never thought it would come to this. The Dawn Of The Dead remake, at the time the worst affront to the legacy of George Romero, was better than this piece of shit. No semblance of a plot. Third rate satire. And Dialog that makes "God, I wish I knew how to quit you" look genius. Worst of all, the gore and violence were completely underwhelming. Was this even a movie? Seriously, it had less structure than a train wreck.

That's all for now. Eventually I'll see the gay cowboy movie, Spielbergo's "terrorists have feelings too" movie, and Terrence Malik's first bad movie. Till then...

Drax out.

P.S. Please do not misconstrue my "terrorists have feelings too" comment as a attempt to join the boorish chorus of conservative commentators who often object to slightest attempt to humanize terrorists. I went to college. I'm able think for myself. Blah, blah, blah. I was merely resenting the implication that we need a self-congratulatory Spielbergo rimjob to enlighten us to the fact that there is more than one side to the conflict in question.